Almost Halfway…

This is the point when the rotation begins  to get laborious. I slept through til noon today just to catch up with the long nights of sleep deprivation, but still I feel tired, overburdened. Not nearly energized enough to go into call tomorrow. But I do it, nonetheless. Try not to think about it too much or the feat becomes overwhelming. I packed everything I could into this day – running, yoga, the spa, and a bbq dinner with friends. But still it doesn’t make up for all the time lost during the rest of the month, and still I don’t feel as refreshed as I would like. But after tomorrow’s call, I will be more than halfway through, and this is always an important marker, both hopeful and futile, depending on your perspective. So far along, and yet not quite near enough to the end for me to sigh with relief.

Sleepy Sunday

Today the gray breeze flows through a window and hits my face, a promise of thunderstorms which will break the humidity, just as the prospect of a day off tomorrow breaks the tension of my daily work in the MICU. As a patient in the hospital, this is what I would miss the most: a quiet breeze, the feeling of rain against my skin, the sudden, startling roar of thunder, and the blazing heat of the sun on my cheeks. Maybe it is only because I am healthy enough to notice the difference between home and the ICU, or maybe it is because I respond so viscerally to my surroundings. But the ICU should be more peaceful and pleasant than it is. Yesterday, a gentleman came to play guitar for a patient. The sound of his voice and music permeated the unit; nurses smiled; patients asked who was playing. And I relaxed for a moment and thought: medicine does not have all the answers. And there are many ways to heal people, far more than we learn in our training.